Thursday, April 7, 2016


Miss Aria Grace! 

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm a mother to this beautiful little lady.

As a birth mother I've experienced pregnancy and delivery before. But I've never experienced motherhood. What I experienced the first few days of Lillian's life is something I can't put into words. In the past I've described it as the only time she was "mine". During that time I was the one who took care of her. I was the one who stayed up with her at night. Who kissed her as often as possible. Constantly reminding her that she is loved unconditionally! I always knew that I was meant to place Lillian for adoption. Meeting Holly and Dave was a very spiritual confirmation. Holly was her mother from that moment on. So even during that time in the hospital where everything was in my hands, I wasn't her mom... As much as I wanted to be, I wasn't.

I became a mother on January 8th 2016.

People tell you that your life will never be the same and yet you have no idea what that means.
  I've been been around babies for what feels like my entire life. I became an aunt when I was 3. I have 13 nieces and nephews and I've been close to all three sisters when their babies were young. I've known how to hold a newborn and change a diaper ever since I can remember. Not saying that I thought I was "ready" to be a mom. (I don't think you ever feel ready)
But I felt prepared. "Well trained" you could say. Boy I was wrong! 

 Motherhood is something you can't really prepare for.

Being a mother comes with so many strong emotions. Emotions you can't really explain. During pregnancy I blamed it on that. Now.... Well, I still blame it on that. :) From the moment I missed my period to the moment I heard my sweet baby girl cry for the first time my emotions were everywhere. 

Although I don't feel like I have figured this whole mom thing out I wouldn't trade it for the world!

Photo Credit: Top two photos were taken by Helga Laing Photography.  Bottom three were taken by me! :)